T Minus Two Type Two Diabetes and Other Passions

9Nov/122

Fear

Fear.

It's an ugly word, an emasculating word. It's a word that seems to somehow carry the spirit of its meaning, like emotional onomatopoeia.

And I experience it every day.

It's odd: I've blogged about depression for a couple of years now. I've mentioned anxiety as being part of the picture for me, but I've been unwilling to expand upon that, and I've often wondered why.

I think the difference is this: while I view depression as something that happens largely TO me, and is therefore external to my innermost self, I regard fear and anxiety as being deep flaws in my character. Something way down in the bottom of my values tells me - scolds me - that a man doesn't experience fear and he certainly doesn't let it stop him from doing anything important.  My conscious mind knows better, but this kind of value isn't much interested in what my conscious mind thinks.

I don't even know if there's a distinction between anxiety and frequently-experienced fear.

I hope, at some point, to write more about this. Partly I want to do this to express my feelings, but mostly I want to provide support to others who deal with fear and anxiety.

For me, depression is a significantly more serious problem than anxiety. In daily life, my fears manifest - mostly - in ways that I can cope with or work around.

Still:

I have fear. And it's a problem.

Comments (2) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Sending hugs from far away. We may not be “across the street neighbors” but I’m here for you.

  2. Powerful post, Bob. But something that we should all probably talk about more often. Fear is a powerful thing, and those of us living with diabetes deal with more than our fair share of it.


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