T Minus Two Type Two Diabetes and Other Passions

25Jun/135

OK, No Matter What

Last week, I re-ran a post I wrote several years ago about the basis of self-esteem. In it, I concluded that the only reason I could find to feel good about myself is simply that I am. I have the worth that all people have.

For a couple of years, I've been avoiding major efforts in the area of weight loss. That had become such an emotionally complicated for me that I simply couldn't make any progress. But, the last few weeks, I've gotten back on the horse. I bought a bathroom scale, and I've been using it. I've even found a way of getting steady cardio in that has worked for me and feels like it will continue to do so. All of that feels good.

But, I believe it's important to remind myself that this doesn't make me better in a fundamental way.

I am okay. If I lose a bunch of weight, I will still be okay, but I won't be any more okay. My life will be better, but my basic worth will not have changed: it is inalienable. I could become so fit that triathletes will be jealous of my BMI, but I'll still be the same okay.

The reason is this is critical is that things may also go the other way. If my current efforts collapse – as so many such efforts have collapsed – I will be not be any less okay, any less worthwhile as a person, than I would be if I got skinny. Even if I gain a lot of weight, I will still be okay.

Additionally, keeping my essential worth in mind is helpful in this context because (possibly contrary to what one might think), I just find it easier to do if I'm only trying to get a bit healthier rather than trying to fix a flaw in my being. It's just so much less complicated.

I am okay. That is unchanging and unchangeable.

And you're okay too.

Comments (5) Trackbacks (0)
  1. The benefits of weight loss and exercise may not be as much as we expected. Breaking news from New England Journal of Medicine:

    http://www.nejm.org/doi/pdf/10.1056/NEJMoa1212914

    -Steve

  2. So smart! Have you read the Augusten Burroughs book THIS IS HOW? There is a chapter on weight loss with similar smart ideas. I think you’d love it. I love that I read this post just after that book. Now I have my head on straight.

  3. Did that read like I was trying to sell a book on weight loss? I promise I’m not.

  4. You are a wise man and I admire you.

  5. This is so true and yet so hard for me to believe on some level. Thanks, Bob!


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